This is what it's all about.
It's fuckin poetry.
No it's not fucking 'dead dogs' Ron Jeremy, It's Hugh keays- Byrne
alias The Toe Cutter from Mad Max.
The Cast
My HONDA CBX 550
MICK'S YAMAHA XJ 650
A Van
A Chopper
Carry
On
Motorbiking
I rang Brian because Mick and Bill Fry had been in
touch and wanted to meet up for a weekend reunion of
the old pronto bike's crew. Brian didn't have a bike anymore
but he was going to come in his van. I explained on the
phone that It was a guy's weekend but he still turned up
with his bitch and the fucking dog. Which thinking back, I
should have known would have only caused a load of trouble
and it did.
Mouse
over.
We arranged over the phone to meet in Birmingham
at the pub next-door to the National Express coach depot. I
was on my CBX550 with Peck on the back as usual. Mick Fry
turned up on his XJ650 with their Bill on the back. Motty
had been asked but wasn't interested. Brian arrived late
with the bitch and his dog .We sat round for about two hours
drinking beer waiting for him to turn up and when he
eventually showed up, we head North up the M6 to join the
M54 to Wales. We were going camping to Harlech for two
nights. Everything was fine until just outside Shrewsbury,
then Mick got a puncture. I was following him and Brian was
in front. We all pulled over into a lay-by and Mick said
he'd have to go into Shrewsbury and find a bike shop that
could repair the tyre. Me and Mick got the rear wheel off
and I give him a lift into Shrewsbury town. It's quite
a busy place and we soon found a Motorcycle dealers who
fixed the puncture within the hour. When we got back Bill
said that Brian had got fed up waiting and had gone off to
Harlech. Mick had been slagging Brian off all the way to
Shrewsbury and Brian pissing off was just the catalyst to
put Mick in a bad mood. I think he didn't want Brian
involved in the weekend because he didn't have a bike
anymore and secondly after telling him it was a boy's
weekend he had turned up with the Irish bitch( no disrespect
Caroline) and the fucking hound.
Anyway after we got
the punture fixed things were looking up and we were back on
the road heading for Harlech. This was in pre-mobile days so
contact was by bumping into one another rather than any sort of
tele-communications. Harlech's not that big, it might have
about four or five pubs so it wasn't hard to track Brian
down because he had to be in one of them. If you go to
Harlech there are two roads that run through the town, One
is the low road and goes past the University buildings and
the other is the high road and runs past the castle and the
all shops in the center. Brian was in the pub on the low
road, I can't remember it's name but I think it was called
'The railway' and It was only by pure chance that this was
the first pub we stopped at, on arriving in Harlech. Mick
had calmed down after a pint and we were all getting on
great I fought. We left after about two pints because I
wanted to find a camping site and drop my bike off, Mick
came with me and left his bike at the site as well. We all
got in the back of van and head off to the pub .Brian said
he was sleeping in the van because getting accommodation
with the dog might be tricky.
Bar staff wanted
apply within hotel !
Mouse over.
A bloke in the railway pub had earlier told us that there
was a band on up at the Castle pub, so we decided to go up
there and check it out. We went in the bar and Bill got
chatting to a gang of outlaw bikers about bikes, I can't
remember exactly what they were called but I think it was
Devil's Serpents or something to do with snakes. They came
from Liverpool because Mick was talking to one of them and
he said he was from Toxteth. Brian wasn't to impressed and
fucked off into the lounge with Caroline. Bill and Mick went
over to their table and got into a big conversion about
bikes. Me and Poodle head went next-door to sit with Brian
because the band were shit. After about an hour Bill and
Mick turned up in the lounge, it seems that Bill had upset
one the outlaw Bikers when he started slating Brit bikes
off. Something else had gone down but I wasn't sure what it
was? Either Bill had tried to show how hard he was by taking
a swing at a member of the bar staff or the outlaw bikers
had told them to do one. We all stayed in the lounge for the
rest of the night and the atmosphere was crap. Bill, Mick,
Brian and Caroline were arguing all night, It end with Mick
taking a swing at Caroline, nice! Not long after I
walked back to the camp site with Pecky and missed round two
at the hotel.
The
Morning After Look
Mouse
over.
Mick, Bill and
Brian's triumvirate had gone into the Hotel to see about
accommodation for the night. Brian paid for a double room, I
don't know how but he managed to get Caroline and dog in as
well( the dog maybe but Caroline - really pushing his luck there) . Mick booked a single room and Bill ends up in there
with him. They all end up in Brian's room for a night cap
until Mike takes a swing at Brian while Bill is
punching Caroline's lights out. At two o'clock in the morning
the Hotel Manager storms in and ends up throwing them all
out expect Mike . Bill turns up at the campsite demanding I
give Him a lift up to the Castle pub because Mick's getting
filled in by outlaw biker's. This was a load of bullshit,
Mick was in a room at hotel fast a sleep and I was too tired
to give a shit. I told Bill to fuck off and went back to
sleep.He slept at the bottom of my tent - the lying cunt.
Brian spent the night in a lay-by and fucked off home early
in the morning. I met up with Mick the next day and we
headed for home. We stopped at a cafe for breakfast and I
told him that this was the last time I was ever going away
with this crowd.Yes ! Mick and Bill ruined the weekend but I
think Brian didn't help bringing his women.
Every time Brian
recalls that weekend in Harlech he always goes on about 'the
look on Mick's face' as he hit him on the head with a carrier
bag full of dog food.