-coooorghh-

Hello

-coorgh-

I requested to edit this week’s edition of the B2 to combat the rebels and their disturbing incursions into the world of print propaganda. Why, only a few space months ago, I notice commander Bono was guest editor of the Independent. Within moments, the mindless denizens of our galaxy were reading Red leader Bono’s words about how to save the galaxy by buying I-pods.

This is the problem that plagues me today. How will I crush such indomitable spirit, such restless subversion? Last space quartile, I sent seven phalanxes of storm troopers and a interrogation droid to neutralize Coldplay. The result? ‘I sense some good in you, Darth’, cried that irrepressible little prick Chris Martin as he played ‘Speed of Sound' 17 times over my galactic radio in a bid to turn me to the good side. I scored the words ‘make trade unfair’ into his head with my lightsaber as I mind throttled him, but it doesn’t give me the same pleasure that it used to.

This issue will crush the rebel scum for once and for all. It contains contributions from my illustrious imperial supporters and myself. Enjoy.