B2

Cookery time with Grand Moff Tarkin

Hello there. When I’m not busy obliterating planets or appearing in substandard borderline pornographic British horror films, I like nothing better than to cook up a storm in the kitchen. Mrs. Tarkin says I am very handy in the kitchen, but then she has to say that, otherwise I’d have her vaporised. Ha ha! Anyway, I call this recipe ‘Moffins.’

Recipe for Moffins

Ingredients:
  • 300ml organic Wookie blood
  • 100g ground free range bothan bones
  • about 50g melted bantha fat
  • some raisins or blueberries
Instructions:
  1. mix together all ingredients
  2. preheat death star to 220 degree c
  3. put mixture onto greased baking tray
  4. cook for 30 minutes or until carbonised.

Important! Only use your lightest and fruitiest wookie blood for this recipe, or the moffins will lack in flavour. I buy mine from a small Italian delicatessen in Islington, where I have been going for years. Gino knows me by my first name.