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Hey! Whatfs up? Yeah, this is me, Patrice Lumumba. Ifm a pretty regular kind of a guy. I like dancing. I LOVE orange soda. One minute Ifm selling beer, and the next, Ifm leading about 8 people in a national democratic movement. Thatfs how we do in Africa. This is my best pal, Kenan, or is it Kel, I canft remember, anyway, the fat one. We meet and become best friends in about 2 seconds, but it turns out hefs the bad guy and makes himself dictator for life, but thatfs for later.
Uh oh! Cold sweating as I dwell in my cell, and herefs a Belgian policeman doing a Rick Santorum, eGet in that cell n-e but let me just stop you there sir, as a plot advancement device has just burst in, and now Ifm on a plane to Colonialland. Therefs a load of King Leopolds sipping brandy and eating the old fois gras, and trying to screw with the birth of the DRC. But theyfre no match for me, and I wow the crowd with an amazing speech though Ifm not quite sure what itfs about. Still, now Ifm President or PM or something.
Here comes the love interest. Itfs Mrs. L, how you doing? gAw, Honey, you work too hardh, gSure doh, next minute wefre having a kid. Kenan says hefs going to take over the army or whatever, sounds like a great idea.
Some guy from the CIA is trying to give me some hassle, I think I read about this in that gPoisonwood Bibleh, better watch out for him. Uh oh. This doesnft look good. Now theyfre taking me away in a car and shooting me in a forest.
So Ifm dead. Wait a minute! Whatfs Kenan doing? Hefs dressing up in a leopard skin and declaring himself KING FOR ETERNITY? Kenan! Kenan?! This doesnft look good. But therefs some women dancing, they look pretty happy. So maybe my life means something? Or not?
Ahhhhh, here it goes!
Nesthole verdict: Whatfs Goinf On?