Film Review

The Accidental Tourist

Film opens with man who has just suffered the tragic death of son in road accident. The man’s name is ‘Makin’. That’s a bit of an unusual name, but don’t worry, you’ll have plenty of time to get used to it, as every character in the film insists on calling him by it about three times in every sentence.

About a minute after you find this out, Kathy Bates tells Makin she’s divorcing him, because she was his wife, but their loss is too difficult for her to deal with. ‘Don’t worry, you can keep the house and the dog (plot advancing device)’, she tells him, if only all women were so thoughtful and temperate at the end of the relationship. As she’s MAKIN her way out of the door, leaving our hero bereft of wife and son in the space of a cinematic minute, there is literally no emotional response whatsoever from Makin. This continues for the duration of the entire film.

Makin finds himself unable to control the dog he’s been lumbered with, resulting in a hilarious accident involving some kind of wheels, but instead of breaking down in a despairing rage as most would given the circumstances, he takes the logical step of finding a dog trainer. Or maybe she finds him. I can’t remember.

Anyway, enter love interest number 2, in the form of Geena Davis. What kind of a film is this, where love interest number one is Kathy Bates and number two is Geena Davis? 'I brought my dog to be trained', says Makin to mad Geena. 'Ok', says Mad Geena, 'and would you like to go out some time?' 'Not really,' says Makin, 'I’ve just lost my wife and child in the last five minutes.' 'Ok, I’ll come over at 8', Mad Geena tells him. Roll over now. Beg. Play emotionally dead. And pretty soon, they are MAKIN out.

Whether the dog gets trained or not, film doesn’t adequately cover. Anyway, it dribbles on for about another two hours after this, during which it transpires Mad Geena has a child, and Kathy Bates isn’t quite sure if she wants to divorce Mr. Makin or not. The rest of this drek involves MAKIN his mind up which one he wants. Which he isn’t very good at.