Goblin's Wonderful List

Others of you may have different things that make life wonderful etc..

  1. Getting pissed at lunchtime in university halls, gobbing down the walls and threatening to write what I thought of everyone on their doors in Marmite.
  2. Going on a mushroom trip, being reduced to tears by ‘Stairway to Heaven’ because it was like, the most beautiful song ever, man’, then pissing myself the next morning about what a tosser I was.
  3. Getting letters from my sister with spoof Blyton school stories and pictures of Tories with Swastika eyes.
  4. Getting rat-arsed on election night 2001 in some pub in Hampshire, and telling some UKIP candidates with little pound badges on their lapels that their party was a fucking joke. Uncouth I know, but the racist Kilroy toting bastards deserve all they get, lucky I didn’t get lynched though, this was rural Hampshire.
  5. Going to Genoa for the G8 summits and ringing home just as about twenty armoured cars were whizzing up the road behind me because someone had just petrol bombed a bank.
  6. Getting pissed with Paulo and the Dormouse, climbing on Sheffield Hallam roof. We found a little elevator on the roof. ‘Don’t get in it’ I said.
    ‘It’ll probably go down to the depths of hell’ said the dormouse and stepped inside. The doors closed, and then it opened on the roof below us.
    ‘There goes my history degree’ said Paulo, but it didn’t.
  7. Putting Metal Machine Music on pub juke boxes.
  8. Sneaking into some nice cottage garden in the peak district, bouncing on their big ass trampoline, then running out again, and getting chased down the road by an angry twelve year old.