Chapter Twenty Two
A Sudden Assault

After their rest, the group continued on their way, but before they had gone very far they were nearly hit by a black Range Rover (Tosser series) and a large Mitsubishi Wanker, which drove onto the pavement, nearly knocking Theodore and Enid down. Picking himself half out of a hedge, Theodore asked the others if they were alright. Although nobody really understood what he was saying, the gist was clear.

“We’re OK”, said Brian, but as he spoke a door opened and there appeared two long, bare and tanned legs that ended in tattooed heels and stilettos. An identical pair of legs appeared on the other side of the vehicle, and another two women, carrying brand-name carrier bags, tottered out of the other vehicle. Theodore looked at them, astonished at their short skirts, bleached hair, red lips and tattooed ankles. His gape only widened as they started a ‘conversation’.

“My Dean’s bough’ me a dymon neckliss”.
“My Wayne’s takin’ me on ‘is new yacht”.
“My Craig is flyin’ me to Rio on Fursdy”.
“My Shane’s bought matchin’ ponies for are gehws”.

“This is serious”, said Enid, “The WAGs have come west of the river. Would that Dumbledalf was here”.